I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
