Screwed.edu
one might say we're banned from that church
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize