i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
The Universe is CLEARLY playing a bad joke on your sex life
Yup. Dog walker, house sitter and mistress to the rich, bored and bi-curious. I've got a nice little operation running.
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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