Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
Me too!
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Someone just proposed in Subway. Trying not to laugh.
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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