there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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