She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
he fucked my hip out of place.
I just did a sobriety test in a tutu.
I can't wait for the day Google doesn't remind me that I got arrested for having 3 shots called 'frog cum' lined up in front of me.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Randomize
