he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
Hint of advice dont get with minor league baseball players, you can google their stats but not their stds.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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