my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Well I turned her sobriety into my own personal drinking game
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
Randomize
