I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
Randomize
