Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
