i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Randomize
