If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
