Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I'm so hung over that I'm pretty sure I can feel the earth's rotations when I close my eyes.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Randomize
