At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
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