awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
just watched a girl laugh at her own fingers... it's not even noon...
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
This is my first time seeing you since your lesbian experience. SO EXCITED!
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
Randomize
