Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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