you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
I need to wake up with a beard between my thighs more often, I'm a fucking saint.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Lo siento on account of my penis...
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Randomize