Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
Randomize
