Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
he looked upset that i wasn't completely shaven. i reminded him he had begged. and beggars can't be choosers.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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