Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
