i wanted to iron the shorts i'm wearing. but i'm high and lazy. so i'm using my hair straightener. in bed.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
