And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
The only thing that got me through this hellish day was imagining a large Swedish penis inside of me.
What did your vagina DO during the nhl lockout?!
Americans.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
