he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
i remember introducing him to all my posters and making him be extra nice to frank sinatra and bob dylan before he fucked me
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Randomize
