I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
