its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I have 250 contacts there has to be someone sober to take me to taco bell
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
