I skipped work to stalk him.
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
Randomize
