I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The owner of this phone is no longer accepting texts from liars, assholes or married men. You figure out which one applies.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
you kept shouting 'jesus penis' when i was on the phone with 911
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I just spent 45 minutes and a really well-put together Power Point trying to convince her to use my dog as baby Jesus in her church's play.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
