You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
Randomize
