We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
There are regrets in my world today- mostly jager at that fucking altitude
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
