You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Randomize
