using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
How is it that I know 4 different bartenders who won't charge me for drinks, but I can't get laid?
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
