can u get pink eye on your cock?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
I fucked my ex boyfriend to get shrooms for you guys
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
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