Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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