You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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