you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
yes you're required to wear a bikini its the snowpocalypse beach party
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
I consider walking to the bars and dancing my exercise and I buy doubles so my drinks r heavier so that's my arm workout
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