shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I just fell for a fake 50 dollar bill in a urinal. Fuck pittsburgh
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
