Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
What do you want me to say to her? "Oh hey, I need to borrow your soon to be husband to make a porn, cool?"
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
Randomize
