I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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