doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
organizing the empties. That sober.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
THERE IS A WINE CUBE IN MY ASS THIS IS NOT GOING AS PLANNED
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I just thought about how many drinks I had last night and threw up.
I think that maybe Alyssa may of had too much to drink. is it normal for her to straddle random people in quizno's?
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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