It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
At the bar dressed as a taco. not a typo. Come down.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Randomize
