she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
jump out the window naked night went bad
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
