He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
My ass is underappreciated
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
Randomize
