Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
i used baking grease as lip gloss
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I enjoy the company of your penis
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