who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
