I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
He is in the front yard trying to catch birds out of the air with a fishing net.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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