do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
If a weird guy texts you in the near future asking if you are satan just go with it
Randomize
