Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So my booty call knows your bf. Apparently they were in jail together
his penis was like the majestic horn of a unicorn and I came like a million trumpeting rainbows.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
Randomize
