I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
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