I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
You gave him that scrunchie you made and called it your "sex offering".
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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