I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I'm always down for nudity.
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
Randomize
