so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I would but he’s not speaking to me because I put ketchup in his socks.
Randomize
