So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Randomize
