used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
don’t ask me. i snorted coke off of a pregnancy test box last night. i obviously don’t make the best life choices.
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