You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
God I need to hump something, right now.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
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