I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
