I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
Haha do not judge my life style choices right now but me and Dj had sex twice and then he helped me pick an outfit out for my date
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
Randomize
