I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
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