I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Randomize