My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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