4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
