You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
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