and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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