I wish i was in the wii world.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
They took my balls.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
U wanna come over and watch talidaga nights. Ill make pancakes
What? It's 130 in the morning.
Aww come on i make bomb ass pancakes
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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