The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
OMFG "ASS" JUST STARTED PLAYING ON MY PHONE VIA PANDORA AS IM IN THE CAR WITH A CONGRESSMAN FUCKKKK
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
