is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I'm a history major and he's the descendant of TWO presidents. Did you really think I wasn't going to sleep with him?
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