i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
he let me duct tape his mouth because i said it was my fetish, i really just wanted him to shut up
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
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