I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Dude in the stall next to me shitting and sobbing. Dude another stall over, "Come on bro, you gotta loosen up." This is why I don't shit in public.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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