awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
can we get nightvision for the apartment?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Im breaking out the trunk vodka tonight, its been aged to perfection.
I see you met someone special
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Randomize
