Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
