you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'n not even sure we went out, but I know we broke into a cemetery.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
