We're facebook friends in real life
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
haha you were so trashed that you deleted all of your christian music from itunes and kept saying"c-ya God, nice knowin ya"
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
At least I'm fat on the outside. You can NEVER change being fat on the inside.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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