it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
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