Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
Three words: puerto rican gang bang
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I'm in the fetal position trying to figure out a way to get someone to deliver me pancakes.
Randomize
