I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Randomize
