Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
Beer coozy in the gym. Don't judge me.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
